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Armed Prophet - 480 points, 17 medals

This guide will explain all the aspects of the game and how to get the medals within it.

Controls/basic stuff
- A is to attack. Pretty simple. Mash it to chain combos. Just be careful when doing so, as you'll be pushing enemies farther back then you'll start sliding, so don't go nuts with this.
- Hold A to charge up a swing attack when your special bar has passed the first line, then let go to fire away. This also uses some of your special meter. You should probably keep an angled distance before you do this.
- S is to jump. It has some uses. You can also attack while jumping, which knocks them back farther. If you need space, jump straight up and attack for a chance to escape if needed. This also dodges any ranged attacks such as the zombie gut toss and robot flamethrower.
- D is to use the special ability your weapon comes with. This is discussed in the weapons section. To build it up, hit enemies. If you're in the middle of using a special other then that of the crowbar's, you don't recharge the special bar while using your lasting special.
- In the zombie and alien levels, there is junk scattered around in some areas. Hitting them into enemies will knock them off their feet as well as knock off a hit point. The tire bounces more than the skull in the zombie level, while the chairs can only fly into ground enemies (however, the helmet makes up for this). They even score multiple hits on bosses.
- The best way to kill an enemy is to approach them from vertical directions. This comes in handy more often against enemies that have wide ranges of attacks.

Weapons
- The crowbar is your starting weapon, with a special that turns your crowbar into a lightning rod, zapping anyone on screen, killing normal enemies and damaging bosses for 12 of what your weapon normally hits for.
- The arm of Zomboss is unlocked after beating Zomboss. Its specialty allows for more powerful attacks. Doesn't mean you can go reckless though.
- The Alienator spear is unlocked after beating ZOMG. Activating the special lets you fire laser beams that instantly kill anyone in a line in front of you. Bosses not included; it does 3 hits worth of damage every time you loose this thing on them.
- The Cyber Blade T47 is unlocked after beating Smileborg. This has the only power up that lets you fight recklessly, as it's a personal shield that lasts for practically a whole group fight. My weapon of choice.

Medals
- Zombie Meat/Alien Juice/Robot Fuel - 10 pts each - get killed by a zombie, alien, or robot respectively to get what I like to call the masochist medals. If you're hasty, do this on the harder difficulty.
- Hand it over/ZOMG!!!1/Kill Smiley - 25 pts each - make it to the end of each level and kill each boss (Zomboss, ZOMG, and Smileborg respectively)
- Classic Hero/Armed Prophet - 25 pts each - beat the game. The only way you could only get one is if you quit in between medals or one happens broken. But it's essentially 50 more points for killing Smileborg.
- Alcoholic - 25 pts - this one takes a bit of luck, so bring along the Cyber Blade if you're not feeling lucky when cracking open crates, hoping to find beer inside them. If it doesn't have beer, back away so you don't accidentally run into it or get knocked into it when fighting.
- Anorexic - 25 pts - essentially the other side of the Alcoholic medal, don't bother cracking open any of the crates/barrels. I'd go through the Zombie stage with the Cyber Blade in hand for this one.
-Skull/Chair - 25 pts each - for the zombie or alien levels respectively. The skull should be next to you at the start of the zombie level, while the chair is somewhere more down the road, in the lab part of the alien level. Just keep knocking each respective object to the right until you reach the boss. Don't worry about knocking it off-screen as long as you're only hitting it to the right, because it'll still be there when you beat each group of enemies.
- The Freeman - 25 pts - the only medal that takes great time consumption, on top of a little more caution. But then again, just think of it as running through the whole game regularly, and feel free to let the lightning rip at the start of any wave you think will end up challenging.
- Handy Man/Illegal Alien/Smiley Hater - 50 pts each - kill Zombone with his own arm, ZOMG with the Alienator, and Smileborg with the Cyber Blade respectively. These require you to have played through each level at least one time before, but that's essentially all I can say about that.
-Testosterowned - 50 pts beat a level on hard mode. The differences between the modes are
- damage you take
- special bar charge rate
- how much HP you'll heal for when consuming beer or food
- enemy tactics (will surround you more often)
- enemy speed, attack rate, and projectile speed
Fight more cautiously here, pick whatever level seemed easiest to you (I went with the zombie level), and bring the Cyber Blade. Its shield comes in handy. Or if you like the crowbar for its lightning, fine too.

Gameplay
I'll discuss each stage's enemies types and the bosses. The melee class try to hit you up close, ranged class will shoot you with something, and specialists always change between levels. I should note that the surefire way to tell if a boss is coming up is if you see two crates right next to each other. So unless you're going for the Anorexic medal, break 'em open and take what's inside.

The Dead of Dead Gulch
Melee class - the dark green zombies that lurch toward or around you to hit you.
Ranged class - the lighter-colored green zombies that throw their unneeded guts at you. You can tell this is happening when they start reaching into their mouth for something. They'll also makes some gagging noise, so keep that in mind if they're off-screen.
Specialist - apparently, having no legs doesn't slow these guys down. In fact, they're faster than the melee class and attack faster, too. Fortunately, you have slightly longer reach, so keep that in mind. Hit them a few times, then break away and do it again however many times needed.
Boss - the classy giant zombie. He'll smash the ground and send a shockwave at you if you're directly in front of him, he'll try to grab you (this hurts) if you stand where he's standing, and eventually try to jump on you when he's running out of health. The move that'll be hardest to catch is the grabbing move. To avoid when you're standing right where he is, hit him twice or thrice, then quickly move away. Move back and hit him again when he moves his arms down. An alternate strategy is to bring the tire with you to the fight and keep hitting him with it from a range.

Alienating Area 51
Melee class - the lizards that have dual energy swords.
Ranged class- the lizards with goggles and laser guns. If they're off-screen, there's really no telling when they'll start shooting you, so draw them away from that.
Specialist - the guys in the UFOs that drop egg bombs at you. I forgot to mention that friendly fire is on for enemies, and this bomb has a pretty high area of effect. This is the only flying enemy, so make use of the jump attack. If it goes down faster than usual (usual meaning around 6 or 7 hits), a melee enemy will come out.
Boss - the giant lizard. Getting close could signal one of two attacks. When he holds his spear straight out and is about to shake it, jump away before he knocks you over with his spinning attack, which tires him out a bit afterward. The other one is just three jabs in one direction, signaled when he pulls his spear back a bit. You can take advantage of this by looping around while he's still stabbing. After he's half-alive (or half-dead), he'll start shooting large lasers from his mouth. Getting too far away is a risk of an unforeseen laser blast, so uh, don't do that. Much like with Zomboss, you can bring along a chair and keep hitting him with that at a safe distance.

The Age of Machines
Melee class - the buff robots with orange faces.
Ranged class - the flamethrower bots, which have about the same range as you do. The first time you're playing through, you should have the spear with you, charged up on some occasions to avoid a crispy fate and giving them a crispy fate of their own. Friendly fire is still on, and these guys will still burn their friends.
Specialist - the small robots that hover around. Their projectile is their own body, and the signal that they're about to go off is when they turn to the side, which is also its own attack. This self-projectile only goes for so long when they start coming at you normally again. If two of these guys charge at each other, only one will win the fight.
Boss - the giant robot. Its laser attack should be very easy to see coming, so move upward when you see an energy ball in front of his face. His blade attack...not so easy to see coming. But move upward when you see his arms start to extend outward. His last attack has him hovering farther up and dropping suicidal bots down at you. Move close to them, then move away so they'll decide to blow up at a safe distance from you. Hitting them, while it gets rid of them faster, will also end up hurting you. A pet peeve I have about this is that he can do this in succession, and you can't hit him until he's fully down on the ground.

Other notes
This will be updated in the future, so feel free to fire out comments. This section will also point out other tips on the future. Thanks to portalwarpedJP, Godliest, Sizzlebuzz, OneRedMage, and pinoyisazn for pointing other stuff out.

to the point of getting a Facebook.

But since I'm fond of my anonymity and privacy, I'll only give it to those who I know on a larger scale.
Not that a lot of people who are bound to have a Facebook stop by anyway.

I've had a bit of a small inner debate as to whether I should get a facebook. It's apparently much larger of a thing than I thought down here in college. Typical.

But knowing myself and this, I lead the boring life, I can only drink alcohol when mixed with something like Hawaiian Punch, and it's not like they serve those at parties off the bat, and I'm not a guy who wants to reveal a lot about myself. Oh right, and it doesn't help that I don't have a good quality camera, and cellphone cameras seem pretty cliche.

Sure, I could be your Farm Town neighbor or something, but I've already got here, two lists to manage and make sure neither goes to hell (though the first one is on the brink of it), and on top of all things, college (off to a bad start, too).

So what's a boring guy like me to do then?

is no more.

Still keeping this music up though

Rank | Medal points | Medals | Username | Difference
1. 24615 | 731 | SpiffyMasta
2. 24575 | 731 | waynerz99
3. 24500 | 727 | Lopingg
4. 24235 | 727 | PikaRobo
5. 24215 | 717 | KrevZabijak
6. 24145 | 721 | duckyness
7. 24020 | 713 | Wylo
8. 24015 | 721 | KingExodus
9. 23905 | 710 | Misterioso
10. 23740 | 709 | EggSaladSandwich
11. 23420 | 710 | Caraboo
12. 23375 | 714 | urrad
13. 23380 | 704 | greeneggs4spam
14. 22950 | 695 | omegaxtomxhanks
15. 22880 | 703 | RHawk
16. 22760 | 698 | queenofbabes *NEW*
17. 22665 | 702 | WonderTheHedgehog
18. 22630 | 678 | DigDogy
19. 22320 | 698 | LegolaSS
20. 22255 | 694 | Ray80
21. 22240 | 682 | Sonik-Team
22. 21735 | 673 | matt-likes-swords
23. 21615 | 682 | Uchi-Morales
24. 21515 | 676 | OzzFestFreak2
25. 21470 | 638 | lavor
26. 21240 | 647 | HeavyTank
27. 21185 | 669 | OneRedMage *NEW*
28. 20705 | 658 | Duffle
29. 20660 | 660 | WeirdAlthe3rd
30. 20650 | 655 | Gooch
31. 20515 | 645 | Rogueur
32. 20480 | 662 | Ego-Maniac
33. 20360 | 652 | Chaoslithium
34. 20250 | 620 | Nijsse
35. 20165 | 655 | FurryFox
36. 20015 | 648 | Xenryusho
37. 19945 | 654 | ugolegend94
38. 19870 | 634 | Magewout
39. 19685 | 626 | Tom-Araya
40. 19580 | 597 | life
41. 19550 | 631 | Godliest
42. 19940 | 640 | dragon07
43. 19315 | 620 | SevasTra
44. 19295 | 618 | chris-marks
45. 19125 | 622 | iga1 *ASCENDED*
46. 19045 | 639 | richler *ASCENDED*
47. 19005 | 604 | Lizzardis
48. 18745 | 613 | jmalouin7
49. 18705 | 616 | Fro
50. 18610 | 631 | portalwarpedJP *NEW*
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Alex12345269
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Nuttro
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LoLned
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Rabid-Animals

This one
Also, play 2947, 3019, 4203, 6160, 6426, and 7219 in Time Fcuk

Had a first last night. It may be just me, but it seems overrated, hence the dry taste I experienced and the only half-cup I had. Mixing vodka with pepsi was no better.

So no.

Edit: apparently, mixing rum with Hawaiian Punch works though.
Edit again: fillers, play 2947, 3019, and 4203 in Time Fcuk
Also, visit here and its forum.
Edit yet again: hell, I'm buzzed right now from testing several drinks including a cheerwine mixed with vodka, and yet I still find rap and country to suck. Screw it all.

- List of stuff that's happened so far go
- Liking my game study class more than the others
- Still waiting for my laptop
- Apology to the PCfags. Because Macs have better graphics cards for digital rendering without lag. So that makes me a Macfag
- Still frustrated at about everyone in the screenshot archive
- Hoping that no one mistook my Mac delivery for some box of garbage
- Still also need a car
- Still have gone without a beer. Killjoy me
- Oh hey, laptop's here. Video related

- More if needed

...at least, not yet, while I'm typing this. But tomorrow, I start heading off to college (High Point, North Carolina, for those who still haven't been informed). But as long as there's a proper Wi-fi connection there, I can stick around from my iPod touch. Too bad I can't b/p because it won't take flash though.

I guess you could say I'm nervous and excited at the same time. And more nervous at that. But hey, there's a likely chance I CAN has Recon in the future (studying game design, too).

Music related, and hookers for everyone's entertainment.

And on a final note, screw New Jersey.